Fun at the Farm

We had a blast today at the Pumpkin Patch. It was a beautiful, perfect day to spend the afternoon in the country enjoying farm life. We went with some of our best friends in Nashville, mine and the boys. All of the big kids, Sam, Skyler, Tucker and Zoe are in the same class at school together and have been for 3 years. They are all born in December and January and have so much fun together. The bonus is that I love spending time with all their moms.

It's Thursday Night!

Do you know what that means? It's a great TV night. It's 6:30, the boys are bathed, fed, pj'd and exhausted from a big day at school, playing with friends after and NO NAPS! A no nap day in our house is translated into an early bedtime day, which is what will be happening in the next 30 to 45 minutes...bedtime for those boys and TV time for Neal and I. What will we watch? We have a TiVo scheduling conflict on Thursday nights because we have a few...

First, of course, is The Office. We both love this show and love watching it together. I won't watch it unless Neal is here to watch with me (or, if I can't wait, I'll watch it by myself and then again with him) because I love laughing out loud with him at this show and their crazy antics. We just have fun watching it together.

Second, Grey's Anatomy, Neal doesn't necessarily get into this show. I do, although I was extremely annoyed with it last season, too much drama, love triangles and every one unhappy. I'm giving it a chance though.

Third, CSI, another one Neal and I like watching together. I like it because they always solve the case in the end, so it's like a mystery/suspense novel in an hour.

Fourth, 30 Rock, this one doesn't premiere until next week, but it's another that I love watching with Neal and just laughing together. It's really funny, if you haven't seen it, check it out. Jerry Seinfeld is supposed to be on the first episode.

Everyone is posting on their favorite shows, so I am following suit, and figured it was time for some happy posts on this blog. The past 2 to 3 weeks have been filled with updates on Luke and other sad stories, so I promise to lighten up for awhile! Also, I am feeling self-conscience about not having posted any pictures lately, Carly did some research that says people are more prone to read a post if there is a picture. No pictures here for awhile, but I promise some will be coming this weekend. A group of friends and I are taking the kids to our favorite Fall Farm/Pumpkin Patch tomorrow and my camera will be joining us for lots of photo ops. I'll also try to remember to take pictures of the new painting in the hallway and bathroom. Neal is tackling the guest room this weekend...

The Farley's

If you haven't yet, go read about their journey. They just lost their baby girl this evening to Trisomy-18, and have written beautifully about her and their faithfulness to the Lord on their blog. They go to my church, and I've met Boothe once, a few years ago, but do not know them personally, although, after reading her blog for a few months, I feel like I do know her. This blog thing really is amazing, getting glimpses of peoples lives and investing in them. I've woken up in the middle of the night every night this week and have been prompted to pray for them , I go through my days with their family heavy on my heart and I don't even know them! Make sure you read some of the comments as well. The amount of people that are praying for them and following their story is staggering. It's amazing to see the Lord show His glory, even through the Internet.

A Good Report!

We went for our weekly appointment with the cardiologist yesterday and left with some great news. He was very pleased with the looks of Luke's heart, so pleased that he doesn't want to see me again until my 35th week! His heart beat perfectly the whole time we were there, it didn't even skip once and didn't come close to a dangerous rate. My biggest concern was what Luke's heart was doing during the times that we weren't watching it and the Dr. said that if it was in distress at any point, that he would be able to tell by signs of strain on the heart and he didn't see any! The fluid has even gone down. He does want me to continue seeing my OBGYN for weekly ultrasounds or Doppler heart rate checks, which I feel good about. I'm going to go in Thursday as planned for another ultrasound and then check in with Dr. P to see how he wants to continue. I'll see the cardiologist in December and then he will determine if he wants to see Luke after he is born. There is a test he can do to determine if this is something that will come back up at some point in Luke's life (amazing that they can determine that), but he will wait to make that call later on in the game.

We are feeling tremendously relieved, although I'm trying to get my head back to things being okay. We went from 0 to 60 to 10 in such a short time, I feel like I'm still somewhere in the middle and trying to land where I need to be. All I know right now is that his heart looks good, and that God is good. I'm amazed and in awe of Him and how He chooses to reveal His Glory!

Pray for this family

The Farley's go to my church. Their daughter, Copeland, was born last Tuesday and has Trisomy 18, a chromosomal abnormality to which there is no cure. They were not expecting to bring her home from the hospital. She came home Friday, but they are in a constant state of waiting for her to take her last breath. This is a heart-wrenching blog to read. Boothe and Conor's faith is truly astounding.

She says at one point "while I do believe even now the Father can heal her, we are walking with hope in the Lord that He will reveal Himself to us in a fresh and mighty way tonight - not that she will defy science or statistics, but that she will be free in Him... and that Conor and I, in the Lord's perfect provision, will perhaps defy what the world says two young parents holding their dying child can never be counted on to do: sing His praises".

Please go read as much as you can handle, and PRAY for them.

The Farley's blog

Only 118 days to go????

The pregnancy ticker on the top of my blog drives me crazy. I keep it up because I use it as a reminder of how far along I am, I like knowing the week, and what day in the week I am. I could really do without the part that says ONLY 118 days left. It really ruins it for me. 118 days sounds like FOREVER! I wish it would say...only 17 weeks to go, or just delete that part entirely.

Luke

All of your prayers for our family and Luke were evident today at our appointment as we watched Luke’s heart beat better than we have seen! The full 20 minutes we were watching him, the highest his heart rate got was around 160!!! It never went into Tachycardia (the really high rate) and it only skipped twice that we saw. Typically, it has been skipping about every 2 or 3 beats, it’s even something that would be obvious to the non-medical person’s eye, we only saw it twice! This appointment was not with the cardiologist, so we will see what he has to say on Monday when we got for our weekly visit with him, but the radiologist (the one who found the issue last week) was excited to see it looking so good. I said in one of my previous emails that it seemed like this would be an appointment by appointment process and that is proving to be true. I’m always anxious to see what we will find and what the cardiologist will have to say with each new visit. The fluid is still there, but doesn’t seem to have gotten any worse as far as she could tell. This is by far the best we have seen his heart look and it was so encouraging.

Please pray that his heart is doing this consistently, in the hours of his day that we are not seeing him, pray that the Lord continues to work in his little life and heals his heart completely. Pray that Luke continues to be very active and that I can avoid those panicked, fear filled moments of questioning if I have felt him move. Pray that fear does not over take me, I had a bad night and morning struggling with that and I know that Satan would be too happy to win that battle in my mind.

We are amazed, humbled and in awe of the Lord and of the people He has put in our lives to pray with us, for us and over us.

Thank you so much for those prayers.

Gabe

My little Gabe. He has had a rough few weeks, not feeling well. I finally got him to the Doctor Tuesday (my 5th Doctor's office visit in one week, which is a record for me!) and got him some medicine. He was acting well enough yesterday and this morning to go to school, but he wasn't happy about it. I dropped Sam off at his class first, so I could focus on Gabe fully when I dropped him off. I took my time handing him off because I was getting such good hugs from him, it felt so good. He never cried, he just had his little bottom lip sticking out and this pathetic look on his face. (for those of you who know him, you know he has the pathetic look down pat). I sent him on his way and he didn't cry, but I have my phone right next to me in case they call me to come get him. I'm sad that I won't be picking him up from school today. I was only able to get in to the Dr. today at 2:30, so my friend Stacey is getting them for me.

I have to say it's nice to be in the house all by myself. I've been so behind on emails, Quicken and computer stuff, I've been able to sit still for a full hour and make some head way. I think in a little bit, I will go treat myself to lunch, with just me and my journal. I'm anxious for this appointment today for some reason. I love seeing Dr. Presley, but I've had so many bad appointments there this year (with the miscarriages), that I guess the anxious feeling is inevitable? Please pray that feeling away, that I may feel God's peace this afternoon. Please pray that Luke's heart has not gotten any worse. If there is any news, I'll be sure to post it.

My little painters

I finally found a few minutes to post these pictures of the boys helping Neal paint the hallway this weekend. They had so much fun and are both still talking about how they helped Daddy paint and how he painted their noses and tummies. They are pretty much always half dressed when they are at home. Each time one of them goes to the bathroom, they lose a piece of clothing!

My little painters

Some good news...

We left Vanderbilt today feeling a little more encouraged by Luke’s condition. Dr. Liske said a few times this morning that he was pleased with what he was seeing. Luke’s heart rate still jumps up really high (275 was the highest today), but he said that it is beating in a normal range (148) much more today than it was Thursday. So, Thursday, it was hovering on the high end and hitting normal infrequently. Today, it stayed at normal more frequently and hit the high rhythm, but for not as long. Also, the fluid around his heart has not expanded any. That all means that, in the past few days, his condition has not worsened – which is great news! I am going to continue to see him once a week and also see my OBGYN, Dr. Presley, once a week. I will have an ultrasound at each visit, where they will monitor Luke’s heart to see what it continues to do. It sounds like, if it gets any worse, we will go the medicine route, where I will go into the hospital. If it doesn’t get worse, we will just continue to monitor him closely.

It feels great to have a plan, to be monitored so closely and to know that his heart is resting at that normal rhythm more than we thought it was. Please continue to pray that the Lord heals his little heart and that this becomes a non-issue. Also, please pray that he continues to be very active and that I won’t have any moments of panic, thinking that I haven’t felt him.

It was amazing to watch his little heart beating on the screen, to see it skipping, speeding up and going back to normal. To see it so intricately and to know that the Lord made that heart and that it is in His hands, is amazing. Neal and I both keep feeling like there is something we should do, when there isn’t. I keep thinking that I shouldn’t move, or get stressed out, for fear of making his heart rate go up too high. Literally, the only thing we can do for Luke is pray, Trust God with his little life and go to the next appointment. There are so many tangible things we do on a daily basis to take care of Sam and Gabe, please pray that we will know how to parent them and love them through this time. Thank you all so much for your prayers, it is humbling to Neal and I to know that so many people care about us and are praying for our littlest boy and us.

Good Weekend

I hope everyone had a good weekend. Ours has been pretty relaxing, the weather has been beautiful, but we've stayed inside for most of it. I'm finally feeling better, I don't think I mentioned in any of my posts about Luke that I had a raging sinus infection when all that was going on last week. I finally started feeling better yesterday, but still don't have much energy. We have been on a home updating kick, so as I write this, chilled out on the recliner, Neal is busy painting the hallway, the guest room and bathrooms are next on his list. I've been nice and jumped in a few times with a paintbrush to help with the trim. Once we get those rooms done, we will do the living room/entry way/stairwell, but we have to hire someone to do those because the ceilings are so high....and frankly, it's just too much work! Sam has been so excited all day to help Neal paint, he finally got to this evening and of course, Gabe jumped in. I had my camera handy and took a few pics. I'll try and post them soon and you can see the color of the paint too. Neal has had guys coming out all weekend to give estimates on cutting trees down, power washing and staining our deck. We are waiting to hear back from the guy who is going to do the renovations upstairs for the boys room to let us know when he can get started with that. We are adding a closet in our upstairs bonus room and turning it into Sam and Gabe's room. We are also going to get our carpet cleaned...I can't tell you how excited I am about that. And, sometime soon (hopefully) we will be putting tile in the bathrooms and kitchen (good bye nasty linoleum)! Who knows if that will all get done, but it's on our list and we are hoping that we will be able to do some of it before Christmas.

The Fall is full uncertainty with Luke's condition and what that means for me and my activities, how limited I will be. I hate being limited...ugh! I'm anxious to see what tomorrow's appointment brings. I've got tons of questions that we have come up these past few days and hopefully will be getting some answers to those questions at the appointment. My old friend, Sarah is doing her pediatric residency at Texas Children's, so she has been great about answering alot of my questions. I've called her and emailed her a ton already this week. She's been great about telling me what all the medical talk means, those words sound so scary and overwhelming. I also found out today that an old college friend works at Vandy and knows a ton of nurses and doctors that work in Pediatric Cardiology and NICU. She will be a great resource as well. God has been so gracious to put those (and others, too) in our path right now. I just re connected with Leigh Anne (college friend) a few weeks ago and we keep running into each other at the most random places, a garage sale last weekend, and have been emailing to get together...not a coincidence!

I'll post more sometime tomorrow...

Today's Appointment

Thank you all so much for your prayers for our appointment today. I usually am a nervous wreck for big Doctor’s appointments, but today my stomach was calm, even during the waiting we had to do. We felt the power of your prayers and felt God’s presence with us today. There is still more praying to be done for Luke’s heart. I’ll do my best to explain what we were told today. Basically, Luke has an extra “nerve” or “pathway” in his heart that is causing it to not work correctly. The irregular heartbeat and the fluid around his heart are symptoms of that. For any of you medical people this is one thing he said a lot, Supraventricular Tachycardia (I have a feeling I am going to know way more medical terms than I ever wanted to)! What I understand is that someone with this condition would be given medicine to regulate the heart rate, but the fact that he is still in utero makes medicine a little tricky, because I will have to have it too. Right now, the plan is that Dr. Liske will monitor us very closely. When I asked how closely, he said come in Monday morning and we will go from there. There is a chance, if the fluid expands, or the heart rate gets even higher, that I will be admitted to the hospital. While I am there, they will monitor us as they figure out what medicine works. I don’t know when and if that will happen, it sounds like this is going to be an appointment by appointment process. I think it is a safe bet that I will have a c-section and that Luke will probably spend some time in the NICU after he is born. There was mention of surgery, but not until he is older. He would most likely be monitored closely and take medication if the problem persists. It’s still so early to have a grasp on all of that.

As far as what to pray for, the Dr. did say that there is a chance this could heal itself, so please be praying for that. There were a lot of scary things we heard as we were talking to him. No pregnant woman ever wants to hear a Dr. tell her to be sure to monitor the babies movements closely and if there is a long period of time where I don’t feel him, to go to my OBGYN…that freaked me out. So, please pray that Luke becomes the most active baby in the world and that I feel him constantly. There is a read danger of me going crazy keeping up with that and questioning myself. The Dr. did not leave any doubt that this is a serious problem right now and that makes us very anxious. We have a long road ahead of us, I’m only 22 weeks.

I’m not the best person at articulating with words, so I’m adding another song lyric. I have a dear friend who writes some of the most beautiful lyrics and I am constantly being blessed by those words the Lord has given her. As I was sitting in the car waiting to meet up with Neal, I put her cd in and this was the first song that came on. I’ll preface the words to the song with the simple verse I saw on a church billboard earlier that day that I kept repeating to my self…God is good, it is He who made us. Then I heard this song…

Arise and be comforted
For the Lord,
He is good to the weary
And even the young heart can tire and fall
But He knows them all
For the Lord, He will renew their strength
And they will soar on wings as eagles
And they will run and never grow weary
They will walk and not grow faint
For the Lord, He is good
Lift your eyes to the heavens
For the creator is living in you
Come surrender as you are
And know that you’ll never stray too far
Let His power within you heal your heart
Lift your eyes to spacious skies
Let Him chart your way to flight
Spread your wings and fly
For the Lord, He is good

That is one thing I know, the Lord is good, He is holding us and our precious boy in His hands, He is the great Physician and I will trust Him. Neal and I have already been overwhelmed by His presence today and the power of the prayers we know you are all praying for us.

I go in again on Monday; maybe we will have more information then. I will continue to keep you all updated.

We love you,

Neal and Lindsay

We have an appointment

The Pediatric Cardiologist we were referred to was able to fit us in tomorrow afternoon at 1:30! I'm SO thankful that we are able to get in so soon...thank you all so much for praying that specific prayer for us. Now, we will find out more info tomorrow as this Dr. takes a closer look at Luke's heart. Please continue to pray for us, Luke and the Doctor. This Doctor goes to our church, so that is an added plus.

Please pray...

Neal and I went in today for my routine 20 week ultrasound and received some not so great news. It turns out that little Luke’s heart is having some trouble. The technician said that there is cause for concern when a babies heart rate goes above 170, Luke’s was hitting the 200 mark and then would drop drastically low. This happened a lot as they were monitoring him. They also determined that along with the irregular heart beat, he has fluid in his heart as well. She couldn’t find anything structurally wrong with his heart with her machine. We have been referred to a Pediatric Cardiologist and are praying that we can get in to see him as soon as possible. Neither Dr. Presley or the radiologist gave us any answers or best/worst case scenarios. All we know at this point is that there is a problem with his heart and we have to wait to see the specialist to find out any more in detail. The good news is that Luke is growing and they didn’t see anything else wrong with him.

Please pray for us. I’m feeling a bit numb and overwhelmed, of course, with all that we have been through this past year with the miscarriages. Please pray that we can get in to see the Cardiologist as soon as possible and that he will have some answers for us. I was laying there on the table, knowing in my heart that our God is so big, that me laying on that table was not a mistake, that He knew this was going to happen. He chose to put us here and I will trust Him to carry us through it. I could only think to call out His name in my head as I was looking at that little heart and the words to Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus came to mind…

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

We will keep you updated as we learn more information. We covet your prayers.

Did I scare you?

Was all my football crazy talk a little off putting? :) I'll try to keep it on the DL now that the excitement of the first game has come and gone. Football has literally been on at our house ALL day! Although it wasn't a perfect fall day, it turned out to be a good day to lounge around and watch football since it was rainy and overcast. I decided to bum it out all day and not do anything around the house. It was nice, but I can only take so much of doing nothing!

On a completely different note...who watched Britney Spears sing and dance (er, lipsynch and walk around the stage) on the VMA's tonight? I Tivo'd it just to see what she would do...it wasn't much...

Packers Won!

I know you are all dying to know the score! 13-16 Packers. Yay!

Go Packers!

Today is a BIG day in the Watson household...the Packers first game of the season. We've been looking forward to this weekend for months! Had the Direct TV guy come out on Friday to make sure our HD was working properly and that our channels were all set. I went to the grocery store yesterday to get all the makings for Chili, I put it on the stove to simmer this morning. We woke up and all put on our green and gold. Neal and Gabe went to Starbucks and the store this morning in their matching jerseys...so CUTE! We are pretending that it's really colder outside than it really is...here are a few pics, I couldn't resist a little documentation of the day. I even had Neal take one of me sans makeup, just to prove that I am part of the family, not just some person that follows them around with a camera! I have to stop writing this post because they are about to kick off...we won't be answering the phone for the next 3 to 4 hours...Brett's on TV, so don't go disturbing us! Hopefully, at the end of the game, I'll have a happy update with the winning score...or as Carly would say, I'll let you all know how many home runs they score! :) Go Packers!

Starbucks

I'm not a huge coffee drinker. I'll enjoy a Carmel Macchiato every once in awhile, but I'm not one to make coffee at home and drink it. I do have to say though, that my favorite, all time coffee drink is Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte...and guess what I just heard tonight from Kandice? They are BACK! Starbucks has added their fall drinks back to the menu and I couldn't be more excited! I'm going garage sale-ing in the morning and you better believe that I will be enjoying a nice, hot, pumkin-y Pumpkin Spice Latte as I peruse for a great deal on something I'm sure I really need, but don't know it yet!

It's 12:30 and...

I've dropped the boys off at school, gotten my hair cut, cleaned my room, the bathroom, living room and kitchen, and had a Sonic Dr. Pepper! I LOVE getting my hair cut, and always enjoy it to the fullest since it doesn't happen that often. I went to a new girl today who cuts hair out of her house. She charged me $20 and did a great job. I will definitely be recommending her to all my friends. After I had my kids, my hair turned much darker and got really wavy underneath. The top layer is still pretty straight, so she layered it up really well so I can wear it wavy all around. I love it and feel 10 pounds lighter...at least my head feels that way! :) So, for those of you who knew me when I was blonde with short, straight hair...I am now light brown-ish (?) with long, wavy hair!

I'm off to finish cleaning and tackle the stack of papers that has been accumulating on my desk. Some of the guys from Neal's office are coming over tonight to watch the Colts/Saints game, which I am excited about. I know that I am really weird, but I LOVE football and love having a house full of people to watch it with.

I'm exhausted!

This school thing is wearing me out! I'm so used to not having a schedule, so getting us all up and out of the house by 9 three mornings in a row is exhausting! The start of school also means the start of a new semester of fun things at church to sign up for. I signed up for a class my church offers on Tuesday mornings and went to the first one yesterday. I thought I was signing up for a lecture class, but it has now turned into a "group" class. When my friend told me of the change, I didn't realize what the word "group" really meant, until we all put our chairs together in a circle. The woman leading it is one of the church counselors that I have seen a few times this past year. She really helped me gain perspective when I was going through the miscarriages and gave me some great things to think about. I've also heard her speak and am always encouraged and convicted by what she says. Her platform is that she wants us as women to know who we really are, so we can be ourselves as we give ourselves away. To know our story, why we react to things the way we do, how to have healthy boundaries and to have a voice. All that to say, when I found out she was leading this class on those things, I signed up. I admit that when I pulled my chair into the circle and fully comprehended what "group" meant, I panicked. In the midst of my panic, I never felt the need to flee, more than anything, I felt that I wanted to commit to this group for 10 weeks and see what journey the Lord will take me on through this class. I'm praying that He will give me a deeper understanding of who I really am in Him, that I will learn a healthier way of processing my feelings and to allow myself to feel them.

Today, I had a meeting for a ministry I'm involved in called Mom's Together (basically like MOPS, but with an FBC twist). It's obviously a ministry geared towards us moms of younger kids and they do their best to make us feel pampered with yummy homemade breakfasts, beautiful decorations, wonderful women to watch our children, moms with older kids to mentor us and amazing speakers to speak into our lives. We are divided into groups with other moms (and one mentor mom) in our area of town and the last part of our time is spent as groups getting to know each other and to encourage each other in our journey as moms. This will be my second year as a Discussion Group Leader and I'm so excited to see what this year has in store. I always leave refreshed and with tools to help me mother my little boys precious hearts. I got to meet my Mentor Mom today and she was so sweet. She was very excited about having our group over for dinner one evening to cook us dinner and spoil us.

So, I'm exhausted, but it's a good thing. I'm excited to have a little more structure in our daily routine, but more importantly to see what the Lord is going to teach me this fall. I pray that my heart will be open to His and that I will allow myself to be taken to places that might not be so comfortable to me.

Sam...

My little PreK-er and model! Sam was super excited for his first day of PreK and for his Spiderman backpack, lunch box, cup, pencils, fruit snacks and sandwich bags (hey-when I see a chance for a theme, I go with it!) I know I'll be saying this his whole life, with each new stage, but I can't believe he is in PreK, getting ready to start Kindergarten in one year. He looked so big in his 5T jeans and spiky hair. I can't wait to see what he will learn this year. He is going 3 days a week.

It was a glorious day for me! I've been looking forward to this day for awhile. It was just time for us to have some structure back into our lives after a flexible summer. I went to my first class at church today and really enjoyed it, then to lunch with a friend and then to Target. Now I'm hanging out in my quiet house, anxious to go pick them up and hear all about their days.

Gabe...

My baby. He was not so thrilled with the school thing. He walked down the hallway to his class with his bottom lip sticking out, but didn't cry. He walked right into his class with that horrible, I'm terrified, I just want my mommy to hold me, but I'm trying really hard to be brave look on his face. It was hard to walk away, but I did it and I know that he will have fun. I had to have a talk with the teacher about his potty situation, I'm praying he doesn't pee all over himself and the teacher! I'm hoping to pick him up with him wearing the same outfit and undies he started out in. He is going 2 days a week this year.

First Day of school

The boys together...can you tell who is more excited?

Slide show and changes

I figured out how to do a slide show! Of course, I couldn't figure out how to center it correctly, so I had to play around with the templates to see if that would work. This one is the best I could do. I'm sure I'll continue to play around with it, but we will try this one for now...you will never know what to expect when you come visit!

Putt Putt

Putt Putt